Are you sick and tired of fighting all the time with your partner? Do tiny disagreements quickly spiral out of control into full-blown shouting matches? None of us enjoy constant arguing, but all too often we get trapped in a cycle where we do little else.
When you are trapped in this cycle it starts to take over your life. Sometimes it's hard to know which is worse, the arguing itself or the constant anxiety knowing that the next argument could be just a few minutes away.
Fighting all the time is a substitute for couples who have lost the ability to communicate in a healthy way. Once arguing becomes a pattern, it's not possible to stop fighting all the time just by trying harder. Inevitably, unless you just avoid each other entirely, something will trigger yet another argument. Unless you're willing to settle for a de facto separation, then you need to find a new way of communicating with each other. Couples therapy or marriage counseling can help you do this and build a happier relationship that lasts.
Couples therapy varies depending on the style of the therapist and the needs of the couple. It's important to pick the right counselor for your unique relationship. However, all effective relationship counseling has certain things in common. Perhaps most important, it is based on a recognition that both sides of the relationship have a right to speak and be listened to. By working on means of effective communication, couple therapy can help you turn disagreements into an opportunity to build a stronger, deeper relationship.
If both of you want to build a better relationship then you can stop fighting all the time and learn peaceful communication. You can learn to express your thoughts and feelings without anger and aggression. When you are dissatisfied with your partner, you can communicate this in a way that is not hurtful and provoking. At the same time, you will learn to listen to what your partner has to say without automatically become defensive or hostile.
Investing in improving your relationship is well worth it. Research shows that healthy relationships are the key to wider mental health. The Mental Health Foundation states that:
Extensive evidence shows that having good-quality relationships can help us to live longer and happier lives with fewer mental health problems. Having close, positive relationships can give us a purpose and sense of belonging.
Loneliness and isolation remain the key predictors for poor psychological and physical health. Having a lack of good relationships and long-term feelings of loneliness have been shown by a range of studies to be associated with higher rates of mortality, poor physical health outcomes and lower life satisfaction.
Don't stay stuck in a relationship where you are fighting all the time. Find the help you need to communicate and be happy together.