7 tips to rekindle the love in your relationship


After being married for 8 years, Mike and Nancy felt that their love was fading. After many years together and seeing the best, and the worst, of each other -- the relationship began to feel stale and stagnant. Nancy longed for the days when Mike would come home from work, wrap her into his arms and tell her how much he had missed her. Mike noticed how Nancy no longer greeted him with a sparkle in her eyes when he came home from work. Lately, instead of the fiery passion that seemed to define their love for each other, Mike and Nancy just feel tired and bored when they are together. They both wonder if they’ve reached the end if they need to say goodbye either to each other or to the happiness they once shared in each other.

What we know about relationship exhaustion

Several crucial behaviors have been shown to help couples strengthen and protect the love in their relationship. Whether you want to rekindle romantic feelings or ensure your already loving relationship remains strong, these 7 tips can help you and your partner achieve lasting closeness, mutual affection, and intimacy.

1.  Be consistent and trustworthy

Trust is a fundamental component of every relationship. In a successful relationship, partners do not act differently when they are away from each other than when they are together. This is especially important for behaviors that can hurt the other partner.

2. Do not overshare with others 

In a healthy, intimate relationship, partners share details with each other that they would never share with anyone else. With this, comes an implicit trust that the partner will not share this information with anyone else or use it against them in the future. When these secrets are held in confidence, both partners feel comfortable and continue to share openly.

3. Show appreciation

In the beginning of a relationship, even small gestures seem like a big deal. Over time, couples can begin to take each other for granted. Make an effort to become aware of how this can happen. Continue to acknowledge the good in your partner-- both to yourself and to your partner.

4. Accept imperfections

When a relationship is fresh, couples rarely criticize each other. However, over time, small annoyances can begin to feel like major issues. No one is perfect, and holding your partner to an impossible standard can be toxic for the relationship. Learn to let the small things go and focus on what matters.

5. Give each other the freedom to differ 

New lovers frequently make the mistake of avoiding any differences of opinion because they mistakenly believe that having different perspectives could harm the relationship. In truth, acknowledging and embracing differences will allow both partners to express themselves and strengthen their bond. Moreover, differing viewpoints will make your relationship richer and more interesting.

6. Love does not mean possession

Couples with a healthy and trusting relationship will not try to control each other. Acting out of insecurity or jealousy can lead to negative reactions and ongoing drama. Allow your loved one the freedom to enjoy other friendships and activities. A lack of possessiveness helps create a strong bond of trust and acceptance.

7. Support each other during difficult times 

Every relationship will face challenges, and the way in which couples deal with difficulties can determine the success of the relationship. Challenges can occur inside the relationship-- such as disagreements, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings. External pressures such as financial or work-related stress should be dealt with together and with compassion. Regardless of the challenge, providing emotional support for your partner and navigating the bumpy road together will give each of you a sense of togetherness that will endure over good times and bad.

If you think your relationship needs help

If you are worried about where your relationship is going or if you feel you and your partner could benefit from guidance, reach out to one of our therapists today.


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21 Oct 2018

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